Individual Project 2015

                This is the prologue to a novel that I've thought of for a really long time. I wrote something else for NANOWRIMO, so with the option to do whatever I wanted for my individual project I decided to start on this idea.

                I ran down the halls of sick, miserable souls as fast as my legs had ever carried me. My breathing was in tune with my heart as it raced in my chest. I stretched my arms out in front of me and I pushed my body against the double doors to his office. He stood with his back to me, staring out the windows at all the souls below. I crossed the room and stood behind his shoulder to get a quick glimpse of my dying world.

                Medical teams ran from tower to tower trying their best to comfort each and every soul that clung to their help. No one had succumbed to the illness yet, but death was at the door for most. My heart ached to see my people in so much pain. The yearning to be healed was in everyone’s heart.

                Croix wasn’t always like this. There was a time of health, when everyone laughed and enjoyed the strength they had. It wasn’t until one soul caught the virus that it spread like sand in the wind, getting stuck in every place it touched. Before long the happiness that was there before dissipated.

                I am a part of a small group that has yet to be infected. I had waited for days while my family fell ill, waiting for my turn to get the virus, but it never took over my body. Ronan, the leader of our world, gathered all of us immune into one group. He gave us the hope that we would soon find the cure.

                The cure of course doesn’t exist; at least not an existence that we have knowledge of. Bands of researchers have pried open the mysteries of the universe trying to find it. There has been word of its whereabouts, and it’s about time, any later and I was sure our world would cease to live.

                I turned to Ronan at the sound of his sigh. My eyes traveled over his face for sign of what he had to say. His countenance gave nothing away.

                “Is the word true? Has it been found?” I whispered. I didn’t want to disturb his thoughts by raising my voice too high. He moved his eyes to peer down at me.

                “We will discuss it as soon as the others arrive.” He told me. He turned around and reached for his chair. I waited as he lowered himself into it before I walked to my chair in the half circle in front the desk.

                My mind was crawling with curiosity. It was almost too much to bear. I began tapping my feet together to let the energy escape. My eyes focused on the edge of the red and gold rug that swept under the desk, to keep from letting them fly around the room. At the sound of the door creaking open I twisted around. Maiblee crossed the room, and slumped into the seat next to mine. Her bright glowing orange hair slid over her shoulders. I reached up to twist my plain as night black strands self-consciously. I always admired those born with bright colors. My sister’s was pink before her sickness. It was now a pale white, as was all those under control of the illness.  

                I continued my stare at the rug. It felt as if the rest of them just weren’t coming. In my mind I begged Ronan to just tell. This was news I’d been awaiting for more than I can count on my fingers.  Someone bumped into my chair and I glanced up to see Cylan sit beside me. I hadn’t even heard the door creak at his entrance. I could feel tension radiating from his soul. I nudged him with my elbow, and turned my head to the side, asking if he was okay. He just shook his head and fixed his eyes away. The points of his ears were a bright red.

                “Sorry I’m late!” Rocco spoke as he ran through the doors. I winced at the volume of his words. It had been so quiet. Ronan shook his head and gestured to the chair next to Maiblee. She rolled her eyes as he took the seat, and stared at the ceiling. Rocco wasn’t late. Enzo had yet to arrive. He was always the last.

                “Can we just begin? It could take forever for Enzo to appear.” Cylan sighed. It was obvious he wanted to be anywhere but here. I wished I could free him from what was captivating his mind.

                “We must wait for every member.” Ronan stated. Cylan groaned and put his head back against the chair. It took Enzo even more feet tapping before he decided to show.

                “Sorry.” He apologized with a smirk. I never approved of him. I constantly wished he would somehow get the virus so he would be forced to leave the group. It would make the whole team happier in the end.

                I took a deep breath and focused on Ronan. I was more than ready to hear the great news. I felt myself move to the edge of my seat.

                “It has been found.” He simply stated. I sighed in relief. Just the confirmation made my heart skip. Rocco tapped the edge of the desk with his fingers.

                “Where?” He questioned. His eyes were full of excitement and wonder. I shared the wonder as Ronan thought deeply.

                “It’s on a planet far from here. The people there refer to it as Earth.” He said. I watched his eyes as they searched each of ours for a reaction. I was confused. I’d never heard of such a planet.

                “How many light-years away?” I asked. I knew most of our souls were to die any moment, the closer this Earth is the better for our world.

                “It will take quite a while to reach.” Was all Ronan answered with.

                “Not too long right? Our time is scarce.” I reminded him. He nodded slowly.

                “It’s not like there’s another choice, Azlin. We’ve been looking for the cure for long enough. I’m willing to take as long as needed to reach that Earth.” Rocco said. I nodded taking in his words. I would take as long as needed as well if it meant helping my dying planet.

                “We will begin the trek after the next two moons.” Ronan told us. His eyes were foggy and fixed far away from where we were. His mind was in another place. We each took that as permission to leave his presence. I followed behind Cylan until we were far down the hall.

                “Something is bothering you.” I pointed out when I knew the others could no longer hear us. He nodded and stared at the sliver coated floor. His eyelashes brushed against his cheeks as he blinked a few times.

                “I’m just ready to rid these people of the death they’re so close to.” He whispered. He looked up, and fixed his eyes down the hall. I followed his purple irises to three elders lying in their beds. Their faces were torn, and full of pain. It was odd seeing them so dull and colorless. Even their eyes had lost the normal violet and were now a solid black. I was ready to rid them of it too.

                “Just a few more moons and we’ll travel to Earth.” I assured him. The souls would be able to hold on until then I hoped. Cylan nodded slowly. I could tell his shoulders relaxed a bit, but I was still aware of the tension. I smiled at the thought of how to help him loose the grip on his thoughts for a small amount of time.

                “Follow me.” I grabbed his hand and pulled him down the hall. I let my feet carry me down the flights of stairs until we came to the tall glass entrance. I led him out into the square. The suns in the sky warmed my skin where it wasn’t covered by a white t-shirt and white shorts. White and black were the only colors we were allowed to wear. The colors of our hair, and eyes were enough.

                “Azlin, I really have to check in on my family.” Cylan tried to protest. I shook my head and kept pulling him along.

                “You’re with them every second of the day. It’s beginning to get to your head.” I jumped down a small curb and pulled him across the square. The fountains around began to fill my ears with sound, I could no longer hear Cylan argue. I led him down an alley and out into the fields surrounding our city. The tall green grasses reached my hips as I waded through them. Suddenly Cylan stopped dead in his tracks. It yanked my arm.

                “I think we’re far enough.” He claimed. I turned to him and pointed to the tall trees a few yards in the distance.

                “I want to take you to the trees. Trust me Cylan; your family will be fine.” I pulled his arm with all my might to get him to walk again. He sighed, but gave in and followed close behind. Before long he dropped my hand and began to run. I smiled and chased after him. At the first tree trunk he turned around, his brown and purple hair was swept away from his face.

Creative Portfolio 1st Semester 2014-2015

Ten of my best work this semester:
1. The Boy With The Red Glasses
          He sits on the hard, cold cement and watches everyone hurry along toward their different destinations. They all have different expressions on their faces, each of them live a life completely unlike the person in front of them. A man with blue pants passes him and pats his head. No one really cares that a small boy of his age is sitting in the square. They all assume his mother is close by.
          He looks down at the yellow sunflower in his hands. The sun illuminates the petals. His red rimmed glasses slide a little down his nose. His mother said she would be right back. He had watched her purple skirt disappear into the crowd just minutes before. She had given him the sunflower to keep him occupied while she was gone. It had worked for a little while, but his little mind began to wander. He wanted to follow the man with the blue pants.
          He stands up and begins skipping along behind the man. He doesn’t get very far before the man with the blue pants vanishes. The little boy is alone, the crowd of people swarming him. Men with black pants, brown pants, women with orange skirts, pink skirts, green skirts, block his view of the outside. He looks down at his flower. One of its petals had fallen off while he skipped. He turns around to try and find it, but all he can see is feet. His little green eyes fill with tears as he realizes he is lost, and his flower is broken. His mother would come back at any moment, but he wouldn’t be there.
            A woman in a grey skirt stops in front of him. She reaches out a hand and smiles warmly. She seems friendly so he takes her hand. She leads him into the crowd. He looks around at all the people trying to find his mother, but her purple skirt isn’t anywhere to be seen. After a few minutes of holding the woman in the grey skirt’s hand, his mother’s purple skirt comes into view. She lifts him into her arms and happily asks where he had run off to. She lifts her hand and shows a yellow petal laying in her palm. The little boy giggles and holds the petal close. He found his mother, and his flower had all its pieces. His day is saved.
2. Mona Lisa
          Her eyes are deep, her smile pressed in a small line. She knows something. But she'll never tell. Her mind is locked and her voice is silent. She gazes out at him and everyone that passes. Her face bears no sign off what she is thinking. The emotion in her eyes and on her lips never changes. The secrets she knows could turn cities upside down. They could be the end of her, the end of him, the end of them. She knows that power that she holds, but she never uses it. The mystery of what's behind those eyes fascinates him. He loves her, but that too remains unsaid.
3. Depression
          Today I met with Depression. An old familiar friend. One who visits a little too often. They sat in the corner and talked to me while I went through my day. Certainly not good company as all they could bother saying was insults and lies. As the day began to turn to night Depression got a little brave. They began yelling and grabbing at me. I felt trapped by their grip on my arms until I fell asleep. The next morning I could still see Depression lingering by the door. But today I didn't invite them in. Still aware of their presence, but not wanting to talk. I had a new visitor coming and I wanted them to have all my attention. Love knocked on my door and greeted me with a warm hug. I felt safe with them so close. Depression looked in from the outside with jealousy, and tried whispering doubts through the window. But for this moment ignored them. I only had room for Love. I wasn't going to let anything destroy my time with them.
4. Freedom
          The city lights fuel our energy as we walk down the sidewalk. Stars are shining somewhere over our heads but we cannot see them. Tonight we are escaping the normal lives we are used to. Tonight we are just going to have fun. The streets are alive with traffic and even though its nearly three in the morning, everyone seems to be awake. The buildings tower above us, with every door that opens I can feel them breathe. Tonight we would have fun, letting every care escape our minds.
5. Remember, Remember
          Remember, remember the times when we were younger. Back when things were simple, and things were fine. When the worries overcame us and we fell apart. But even when we give up all hope there is space enough to grow. We aren't completely lost, things are just different. A little more twisted. The promise I made that I'd love you forever, I meant it I swear, and I'll mean it forever. You are my safety, my comfort, my home. Your eyes are the oceans that put my head in the clouds. Even though we've been torn at the seams, I still hold on to the small strings.
6. My Brain
          Trapped under layers of bone it breathes. Everything I am is held up by its arms. Comfortable it sits in its cage. It belongs there, giving me life. I blame it for my troubles and pain, but I know it's truly innocent. I owe my happiness to everything it stands for and believes.
7. Gone
          I stare at the red rose. Its color against the grey surround it burned into my eyes. Sitting in the grass, oxygen is becoming hard to let in. There stone in front of me reads your name and I can't help but feel empty. You and I were meant to be forever. We thought we had all the time in the world, but with one second you were taken from me too soon. The little girls next door keep asking when you'll be there to give them m&m's like you always did. We all miss you and feel you absence. My heart is beginning to shut down. I lay my head against the cold stone. I'll love you forever. Death smiles from near by knowing he caused me sorrow. I just pray he will let me join you soon.
8. Stardust
          The galaxy is so close you could touch it with your fingers. The sky a mess of color and white dots of life. I live among the stars dreaming of what could be. I rarely come down to Earth. I only have one reason to and that's to be with him. He pulls me to the ground where I guess you could say I really belong. He doesn't want me to disappear into the starry world. A phase he calls it. He's worried my mind will turn to stardust and he'll no longer be able to hold me in his arms.
8. Death
           Sometimes life decides to reach up and grab me by the ankles. It whispers about my past and threatens to bring it all back. I try to going, dragging life behind me, trying to move on. The grip only gets tighter and I feel trapped in its dark grasp. I trip and fall into memories and pain. Life tries to take over, grasping at my arms, holding me back. I cry out for something to save me, an escape from this nightmare. A soft voice enters my ear, calling to me wanting to lift me from the dark. I reach out for it, wanting to be in its arms. Life puts up a fight, not wanting me to go. I beg and plead and pull myself away. I am released. Light fills me. Relief fills my bones. I am free from life.
9. Viper
          She is tall, beautiful, independent. With the power of the viper, she is good and evil combined. One minute she has green scales and wants to save the world, but the next minute they turn black and she wants to destroy everything in her path. You see, she is hero and villain in one. Constantly fighting with herself.
10. Cold
          Standing outside on the steps I watch cars pass by. The air is crisp and bites at all my exposed skin. The flagpole clinks as the chain sways in the subtle breeze. Ice has made its home in the cracks on the stairs. A thin sheet of crackled glass.


Essay Questions about this year:
1. My biggest challenge with creative writing this year would have to have been my confidence. I didn't feel like anything I was writing was very good. Reading back over it though, I should have had more faith in myself. It really wasn't that bad.
2. About myself and my writing I have learned that I put a lot of what I am thinking into what I write. I learned that I really need to sit down and write more to give those thoughts a voice.
3. About the writing process I have learned that always sitting down and writing some everyday makes my writing better. Practice makes perfect. And practice helps me find my voice.
4. I noticed some growth in my writing by seeing how much my writing has changed over the past year and even longer than that.
5. Thinking about my writing, I always heavily critique myself. I can't think about it too much or I completely take away the magic of it.
6. My attitude about writing has changed since the beginning of class because I kept thinking I wasn't good enough, but that's not true. I'm way too hard on myself.
7. My least favorite aspect of writing is actually sitting down and making myself write. Sometimes I really really just don't feel like it.
8. I can continue to grow as writer by continuing to practice. I really want to make some goals to write a lot more.
9. I used colors to select the criteria for my final project. I love all the different colors and what they could mean. So I put them all in poems.
10. My blog is my writing, and some parts of my life reflect in every single piece of my writing.
11. I will always continue to use writing in my life. It's one of my favorite things to do. As stated above I want to make goals to continue to write more.